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"I am always willing to bleed for the Winchesters."
» NAME: Castiel
» FANDOM: Supernatural
» CANON POINT: 9x24, after he has stepped through the doorway back to Heaven
» AGE: Eons old, but appears to be a man in his mid to late thirties.
» GENDER: Angel, but his vessel is male.
» ORIENTATION: Undefined. He is an angel so he hasn't really figured out sexuality yet.
» COLLAR: Wings and chains.
» YES: Sex in odd places, roleplaying, oils.
» MAYBE: Pegging, water based, food based
» NO: Chaining up, cutting, fire
» PAIRING PREFERENCES: Meg, naturally. Otherwise open.
» APPEARANCE: Slender build of someone who did jogging, or as it is called, angel-fu. He practices constantly with his angel blades to keep himself in top form. He is above-average, average height at 5'11 inches, but seems smaller because he tends to slump in his human vessel. His dark hair is messy, almost always sticking up in one direction or another, and he has incredibly bright blue eyes. He has been called the pretty-boy angel with good reason, because despite always carrying about a day's worth of stubble, his face is well on the side of 'beautiful' by human standards.
» PERSONALITY: Castiel is, by nature, a serious person. He looks at all things with the sort of gravitas one would expect from a creature that has been between two realms for thousands of years. This does rather make him something of a 'straight-man' in the world of modern culture, even after having the Metatron stuff his mind with thousands of years of literature, movies, and television shows. He tends to come off as rather naive when it comes to human interactions - even after years of sharing his life with Dean and Sam Winchester.
Yet what makes Castiel, 'Cas', is not two thousand years of existence, nor is it five years of life around human beings. What makes Castiel who he is is what he has taken from those experiences. For two thousand years, despite constant 're-educations' by Heaven, he is always the one who stands up, and stands apart. Unlike his brother Lucifer though, he does not stand against humanity, but for it. Each time they removed his memories of rebellion and individuality, Castiel's true self would emerge – compassion where command was looked for, retrospection where obedience was demanded.
He did not remember these, though, did not hold on to the scraps of himself, until he met Dean Winchester. Dean, who showed him you could be defiant and still be yourself. Dean, who showed him what mattered was not blind obedience, but loyalty and friendship. For their friendship, Castiel has risked his life, become a fugitive from his own kind, stood at the End of the World with nothing but a bottle in his hand and 'Assbutt' on his lips. He has learned humility, from Dean, and despair. He has learned what you need to overcome it, and that is love.
Dean however was not the only one who taught him. Meg taught him that you may hate someone, but you can still be attracted to them, even if they do put you in a ring of holy fire. She also taught him lust, with his very first kiss, and what it feels like to be wanted in turn. She also taught him that others could be loyal to him, even when it wasn't called for. Even when it would have been in her better interests to betray them. She taught him that you could learn to care for someone – even if you came from completely different worlds. That you could love them, and be willing to do anything to save them, even fighting against the pre-conceived notions of others. Her loss taught him what losing love felt like, and the danger of grief.
Yet he has learned his hard lessons too, through his own mistakes. His blind trust in Heaven nearly led to the Apocalypse he thought they were trying to avert. There was also his own stubbornness, when he refused to go to Dean for help with the problems of trying to defeat Raphael, and instead worked with Crowley to get enough souls to defeat his brother. His hubris in thinking that he could handle all those souls, and through that he let loose the evil that was the Leviathans, that led them to taking over the world in kind. Both of those led to Metatron being able to manipulate him into closing Heaven, and to what he considers his greatest mistake, locking all his brothers and sisters out of Heaven.
From all this, Castiel has learned about himself – and that is that whatever mistakes he has made, he can learn from them. Whatever strengths he has outside of being angel, he does not have to be ashamed to call upon them. That he can love, and be loved in turn, and that is not a sin – it is the greatest blessing any creature could know. All of Castiel's being is wrapped up in learning, and growing, and being more than anyone could imagine. Perhaps not even himself.
» BACKGROUND: Angel of the Lord. Enough said. For anything more than that? See here.
» OTHER: Having his Grace back is a mixed blessing - he is granted all his angelic powers but every time they are taken away, the more quickly he moves towards dying permanently.
» OOC JOURNAL: commodoresexual
» AIM/PLURK/OTHER: OneStark Wren at Plurk
» EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org